From an email:

THE PATRIOT MICRO CHIP:

is intended to be implanted in terrorists.

The implant is specifically designed to be installed in the forehead.

When properly installed it will allow the implantee to speak to God.

It comes in various sizes:

The Implantee may or may not be allowed to choose the size.

The implant may or may not be painless.

Some bleeding and or swelling may occur at the injection site

Please enjoy the security we provide for you.

Best regards, The UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS