Great Satire
Written by "Loyal Democrat" at the Townhall blog
Guns R Bad
The common citizen has no need for a gun. Only the police and government officials should be armed so they can keep control. If citizens get out of hand, the police and military need to be able to squelch the uprising as quickly as possible, so keeping citizens unarmed assures order. If people are unarmed, they resist less and are more accepting of government policies that are implemented for their own benefit.

As for the reports of crime being reduced by gun owners, the evidence is clear that hundreds of thousands of people die each year from gun violence, whereas only a dozen or so crimes are thwarted by gun owners. Besides, the stopping of an occasional criminal is not worth the price we pay for an armed society. A hundred rapes, robberies, assaults is still a small price to pay when compared to the cost we incur by the loss of a single life through a gun accident.

Furthermore, most victims of crimes are not killed, whereas gun owners often kill criminals. That is an unwarranted loss of precious human life. The potential loss of money or belongings does not warrant the taking of a life. Likewise, a rape victim is only inconvenienced, and there is no justification for taking the life of someone because they simply embarrassed and humiliated another person.

Guns serve no purpose, and citizens have no right to possess them; only government officials have that right. We can only be assured of our safety if we disarm ourselves completely.
Loyal Democrat